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Tuesday, February 7th, 2006
12:52 am - And today, we're going to cover...
notes from classCollapse )

current mood: restless

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Tuesday, January 31st, 2006
11:14 pm - Questionic.
I own (in theory) an original Walter Sickert lithograph. I OWN IT. And one day soon I'm actually going to SEE IT. My Mother bought it for me for Christmas, and shall at some point send it to me, along with a rare biography. I'd write more in the subject, but text is such a limited medium, and would do nothing about my happiness any justice. Once again, as in England, I find myself absolutely hating my Art (Painting) class, though I absolutely love my English class. I'm considering changing my major to English Education, minoring in some other Art related subject because I CANNOT handle the obtuse exercises. Walter Sickert didn't go to Art school... he quit and ran off with Whistler and Degas. This isn't to say I think I should do likewise... I just wish I were free to do as I pleased.

There were some things I wanted to write, but I can't find the energy. I finished Frankenstein and fell absolutely in love with the monster, obviously, because he's un-loved, sadistic (towards the end) and totally grotesque (an eight-foot-tall disproportioned 'mummy' with wrinkled lips, watery yellow eyes and long black hair). All those people chasing him about with pitchforks? WTF? If he ended up in my basement I'd basically adopt him as a gigantic teddy bear and adore him always. Victor Frankenstein was a loony, Elizabeth Lovenza boring, and I basically wanted to castrate Felix De Lacey, the stupid little animal twat.

STOP BANGING ON THE FREAKIN' CEILING WHILE I'M TRYING TO READ MY BOOKS! I'm an easily agitated person... when I need company, I'll come down myself.

Next is Pride and Prejudice, and then The Portrait of Dorian Gray... *sigh* I hate reading Wilde, absolutely. And the Bronte sisters... meh... *rubs eyes* I'm actually pretty fond of Blake's simplistic stuff, though his 'to marry a woman is to imprison her' thing is a little strange. I mean, it's only an incarceration if the couple in question treat it as such. Isn't the basic premise to create unity, and provide security?

Mary Shelley is an AWESOME writer. I was actually REALLY impressed by her writing style and they structure of her story... it was more then written, really, it was crafted... like someone building a machine, rather then telling a story. I appreciated it so tremendously that I actually felt something very rare... a total, un-biased admiration for someone else's talents, totally devoid of jealously or malice. It's a pretty riveting feeling for someone as black-throated as I. Sadly, her Mother, (the author of 'Vindication of the Rights of Women') can't write for kisses nor giggles. Anyway... this type of praise is so rare in my mind that I don't entirely know what to do with it. I like Mary Shelley.. I am not sexually attracted to her, nor do I envy her looks or life; she has defied my understanding of what it means to feel impassioned.

*head on hand* Hmmmm...

I had forgotten: My trip to London has been pushed back to the 14th of February, with my return on the 21st (?). I'm not sure it matters to anyone here, but just so you guys know I haven't vanished off the face of the planet. If I anyone trusts me enough to give me their address, I'll send postcards.

current mood: contemplative

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Friday, January 27th, 2006
6:08 pm - Not too tired to care
All I have ever valued is bone, ash and dust to future Kings. However, the piano concerto in E flat by Mozart is great. Let us be thankful for small mercies.

current mood: blah

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Tuesday, January 10th, 2006
5:38 pm - I've been to Providence.
A slightly emo ramble about the RISD. v. mushy and Arty.Collapse )

current mood: creative

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Monday, January 2nd, 2006
1:22 pm - Lalala...
I am very near the conclusion of my Mozart book... I swear it BEST NOT MAKE ME CRY.

Went to the Wadsworth the other day, but was dragged away because my Stepmother had a hair appointment. I didn't even get to go in the gift shop, though I got some great semi-illegal photos with my NEW DIGITAL CAMERA. Haha, my father is full of surprises. Killed my 'I want it' list too... not that I'm disappointed ^_^ Going to put some Jude movies in there next, as I'm suffering from Law withdrawal something terrible lately.

Watched Bambi for the first time ever last night... Bambi's Dad is so cool, and I ♥ Thumper. On Saturday there was a movie marathon, Aliens at about 6 in the morning and much perversity (in least on my part. Thanks guys.)

Also saw Conceiving Ada... I don't think I appreciated it fully. Must see again, now I have it on DVD. Tilda Swinton, who plays Ada, is also the White Witch Jada in the new Narnia movie. I'm not sure, but aside from Orlando it must be the biggest role she's ever gotten... I feel really happy for her. I ♥ Tilda too.

Father bought me a Cameo for $22.00 yesterday because he thought it looked like me. *smile* I'd love to get a real one done one day, but you have to GO TO ITALY to afford even a cheap one.

There is an exhibition in Providence called 'Six Friends in Dieppe', about Degas and his famous associates; SICKERT is featured. Therefore I MUST GO TO SEE IT, before it ends on the 15th of January. MUST SEE MUST SEE MUST SEE. Must also see Casanova.

Mozart and Casanova met, you know.

6_6 Yesiree.

EDIT: I have new, normal colored hair. Hoorah etc.

EDIT 2: I haven't read my friends page in about two months, and likewise plan never to again. NOTE TO SELF: must start visiting individual journals. 'Cos I'm MISSING STUFF.

current mood: happy

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Tuesday, December 20th, 2005
4:43 pm - I like making longer, proper entries.
Christmas is in less then a week. Does anyone else despise this holiday? I wish the present-giving thing could be eradicated... I really hate receiving presents. I like giving them, I just don't like getting them! I love the people who do anyway because it means something, and it's not that I don't very often want what I receive; I can't deny others what I so enjoy doing myself. Most of you remember this little rant from last year. I just don't know how to respond! It's like my brain seizes up and I can't solicit a proper response from myself, however I feel. And the people giving me gifts are just sitting there going "So... do you like it..?" Argh. Bloody Santa.

Last week was a wicked funny one. A few bad things happened.. one or two REALLY bad things happened.. but I don't want to dwell on them too much. The weather granted me my first sleep-over since I was... oooh, ten, maybe? And I learned to make French toast, a gift I put to use for the first time this morning. French toast is pretty nice.

My desire to go to the Wadsworth Atheneum is 'like a lust in my body.' No, seriously, I need to go (no obvious pun intended). My sister went on a trip there last Friday; I love that Museum so much I can barely describe it. It might just be the slightly battered regions of my psyche seeking refuge during this particularly abrasive time of year, because Christmas 2004 is the last time I visited. But I HAVE TO GO. My Father has told me we're going some time after Christmas but WHO IS TO SAY I CAN WAIT THAT LONG. I haven't hungered to this degree since returning to England and visiting Trafalgar Square/The National Gallery. I am so perversely protective of these places, I don't even like seeing other people in them. I just want them ALL TO MYSELF. Except friends: I love showing friends the things I like so I can begin discussion about them. It's pretty selfish, but there we go.

[Speaking of which, I managed to force-feed Girl with a Pearl Earring (the movie) to some of the people captive in my house on Wednesday. I'm not sure my audience like it particularly... luckily they saw Basic Instinct before hand, and so anything that followed was (by default) far more welcome. Greit was despised, but Vermeer went down well, which was good. And Catharina won the sympathy vote. Yay Catharina!!♥ She is so pretty.]

Likewise, I NEED TO SEE Gillette Castle. They've got it decorated for Christmas :) Hopefully I can force the family to attend. Mr. Gillette and his house are too hot for me to ignore.

Did you know Shelley's Grandfather was Born in New Jersey? Huh.

One of my Christmas presents is the Newly re-published Gray's Anatomy... it's one of these random volumes you really need to qualify as 'rich', and I bet is going to prove and interesting study. Sickert went through 6 copies of GA before his death, but I'll bet none were as fabulous as mine's going to be. I'd lend it to him, if only he'd come back to life and take his pants off. I mean, I'd share if he did.

*eyes sparkle momentarily*

Ok, enough perverse necrophilia. OFF

current mood: mischievous

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Monday, December 12th, 2005
8:15 am - "Procrastination is the thief of time."
- Edward Young

I went home this weekend. I should be working on my art final... I have a lot of things to finish...

On Saturday, saw a play performed at Hartford University with my family. The actors were really incredible, though the play itself was really awful. Before-hand I'd gone out and done some of my last shopping for abroad... still looking for things to send certain people. Haven't yet finished everything...

Went to Marshalls and found something so startlingly lovely that I wasn't sure what it was doing there. A music box, but also an imitation Faberge egg - diamond studded, and red with gold roses - which plays the first few notes of Eine Kleine Nachtmusik. In Amadeus, Salieri uses an exert from this piece to demonstrate to the visiting Priest the gift of Mozart's enduring ability.

There are twenty days before Christmas (and nineteen until Alex's nineteenth..). Who else is freaked at how fast time has flown??

I have an exam at 11:00am in Geography for which I have not studied, and as of yet have no desire to consider... My Stepmother was almost aggressive in her insistence that I revise and get a good grade: thus, where I began dubious of my success, I finish determined in my failure. Very clearly I am cutting off my own nose... but I've never been that fond of my face anyway. So I stomped back into my room and divided the time between catching up with Constanze and sleeping. Tomorrow is Art, which means some time (an hour at least) must today be devoted to sketching the outside of a building. It will be cold, but I own cheap gloves and a scarf, so I think I can manage it.

Erin is gone. I returned to find out fridge still on; her CD player (which I have been using since mine finally died) in place; a small present left on my mattress. But her weekend bag is missing and her book-bag is empty. I suspect she's commuting for the exams. It irks me because now my gift to her will be late... unless I can somehow catch her working.

My exams finish at about 2:00pm on Wednesday, and I have to be out of the dorm 12 hours afterwards. Damn holidays... Nicola Ryder was right. I am a humbug. Just goes to show what we can't acknowledge about ourselves when we're twelve and getting a first crush on a friend's brother. Tsk.

Hmm... Other things that require consideration? I finally gave in to impulse and bought methusa some gifts to send to London as she hasn't been very good about telling me what she wants (we have been through this before, and I know better then to ignore the experience). It is addressed directly to the house and not Garmer, who also receives her gifts separate to Bernar (whose I address to Hartington Street, right?)

I'm starting to dislike Anime on account of all the crazy anime fans I keep encountering. Why are they so frequently lame??

I think it's fair to say that - at the moment - I am desperately frustrated, tired and lonely. And yet I don't really want company. I just need some back-ground noise to remind me that I'm not the only person on earth, a few painkillers and possibly more sleep. But that will have to wait until Wednesday. For now I'm hanging on to every precious moment I can squeeze out of CCSU, sleep-deprivation or no. There are some things more important to me then exams, and maintaining a grip on reality is one of them.

EDIT: Just failed Geog. Woooooo (go me)!!

EDIT 2: Erin is not gone... she just went home for the weekend as I did, and left my present as she wanted me to open it as soon as I saw it. There is still time... But I won't. I don't want Santa to put me over his knee...

current mood: pensive

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Wednesday, November 30th, 2005
7:09 pm - As a matter or point,
I'm considering dying my hair back to it's plain brown color plus bangs. What does everyone think? I've loved having my hair in variety of different styles and shades, but I miss just having it normal. I'm also growing it out.. back to it's full length. I haven't had my hair long in four years: It will curl like mad.. 5 times more then it does now. Thoughts?

EDIT: I just saw Amadeus for the first time, and am just about finished sniveling over it. God, it's such a shame Tom Hulce has let himself go... he was deadly sexy playing Wolfgangus. And that laugh. Anyone who's seen the movie.. you know what I'm talking about. Mozart laughs like a hyena!!! It's amazing, I swear. Anyway... I recommend it to all, though you may cry when he dies at the end. And you can't totally disbelieve me, because it won (in 1984) eight Oscars, including Best Supporting Actor and Best Picture!

current mood: nostalgic

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Saturday, November 26th, 2005
1:27 am - Home again home again diddly dee.
SO... I saw Pride and Prejudice, and in the words of a close friend, it was B E A U T I F U L. Such a fantastic romance, and I'm (of course) taken with unconventionally handsome Mr. D. Lizzie rocked the Kasbah too with such brilliant, adorable constant laughter... not the nasty twittery kind her sister Lydia had. And she was so witty! I absolutely loved how Mr. Darcy refused to dance with her, and that she - having declared that poetry kills romance as apposed to feeding it - answered that dancing was the key to keeping love alive! And then Mr. Darcy asked her to dance with him!!! I was racked with laughter so many times. There's a scene where you see Mr D's Grecian sculpture collection.. it was enchanting, just like all the other sets. Somewhat made me want to go visit the statue of Eve in one of the more lovely New England Art galleries. If I get to see the movie again I so hope I do.. it was wonderful! I love regency period dress so much... we should all dress that way always... :( that we don't.

current mood: Oogling Mr. Darcy

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Saturday, November 12th, 2005
8:59 pm - Updaitie.
I should never be allowed into book shops: I cannot browse without buying. I don't know how to do it. And it totally ruins my 'why read about what you can learn from experience' argument. The list of books I have yet to finish includes:

1) Houdini: the Untold Story
2) Jonathan Strange and Mr. Norrell
3) Jack the Ripper: The Final Solution
4) WR Sickert by DP Corbet
5) Vampire Hunter D: Raiser of Gales
6) Love Among the Haystacks

The list of books I've yet to start:

7) Frankenstein Unabridged
8) Dracula the graphic novel
9) Heavy Words Lightly Thrown
10) Clara Schumann by M Steegmann

I'm presently working through Houdini's biography... you know, I think he's going on my list of idols. His own worship of Robert Houdin (so much like mine of W Sickert - can you guess where Harry got his name from?), his impetuous nature.. his devotion to his craft, his wonderful relationship with his wife Bess... And of course, he's German by birth. I picked up the paper back for a dollar, in mint condition - I doubt it's ever been read. The receipt, from Walden Books was still inside, dated March 2nd 1972.

I bought Bertie Bott's Every Flavor Beans the other day... the manufacturers have done a good job reproducing the vomit flavor one. Needless to say I didn't finish them... But I bought Erin a bag ;)

My Father cheated me out of buying a ten dollar copy of Love Actually, one of my favorite Brit flicks... he guilted me into letting him have it to give Susan for Christmas. I bought Notting Hill instead, and spent the evening getting ever so slightly home-sick.

I saw Zorro the other day, and Flight Plan yesterday. Zorro was really surprisingly good: a terrible script and a clichéd plot elevated by fantastic acting/editing/costume design. If I ever have the chance to buy that movie I'm going to, because I can remember squealing with delight whilst watching it. Yesterday; Flight Plan; scared me. There is something about an emotional unstable Jodie Foster that makes my heart race like an uncontrolled freight train. It was well done... a thriller which reminded me of Red Eye, but way too distressing, generally.

OMG CASANOVA. Has anyone seen ads for that movie yet? It's a Regency drama set in Venice. They showed a picture of the Grand canal and my heart just about stopped. The production values look beyond amazing... what I wouldn't give to dress in those clothes!! Casanova's biography is going on my 'I want it' list now, so soon as I can find an up-to-date, detailed one.

* * * * *

My English class is much like the one I took at Valley (what a wonder -_-), so we have to produce a draft to be critiqued one week, before submitting the final copy the next. Our teacher asks we come in with something, even if it's only a line or two. This week, after having shirked my work as usual, I wrote at the top of my draft:

[Perfunctory writer’s note: I’m aware of the fact that what is written bellows should logically resemble an essay; that what is written above should in all probability be substituted with a title of my own devising (the preference being for something clever and original), and that all of it in turn should be formatted as is easiest for my audience to read. But we all know that isn’t going to happen, because I am lazy, stupid, and obstinate. AND I like starting my sentences with a conjunction. Be clever: critique what is written, not what isn’t there. It’s a lovely mish-mash of ideas which I’m playing around with, and really isn’t intended to make much sense anyway. Cheers much.]

The draft that was read by students in the class came back to me with two comments beside this paragraph. The first read:

"Hey Buddy, we don't make the rules and I support your unique and different form of writing, but the teacher is going to flip a sh*t when she sees this, and take of serious points. I advise you change it."

Below was written (by someone else): "Right on man! :]"

Yet from my English teacher:

"Your notes are always refreshing! I wish more students viewed the activity of writing as you do -> all I can ask is you play with ideas!"


I laughed like a nutcase all the way back to my dorm.

* * * * *

At Borders they're selling the official movie light-saber for $119.00. It's a glass cylinder which lights up and makes whooshie noises when you movie it. I fought an invisible adversary with the blue one while my Father paid for my books. It comes in red, green and blue, but sadly no purple. I spent a moment contemplating whether or not to forfeit all my other presents and just ask for one lightsaber for Christmas, but decided against it. I have a Darth Vader Pez dispenser and more then one type of movie card. I am happy.

I also own My Little Pony Bubble Bath. Sadly, still lacking an actual bath.

* * * * *

EDIT: Harry Houdini abandoned his idol -_-; He was a bit mad. Harry, that is. But Mozart is a musical squeegasm to be sure. Sonata #11 has been playing on repeat for hours.

current mood: indescribable

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Sunday, October 30th, 2005
12:38 pm - I'm really hungry. MUST. DISTRACT. SELF.
Apparently I don't update properly enough. Well, here's something for you all.

I never have my phone on when it would be useful to do so. As a result I missed my only chance to wear my Halloween costume. Piss.

I turned my phone on, and got the eight messages, and kicked myself around my room for about four hours.

Call up to apologize. Thankfully all was forgiven and a trip the Oddfellows circus was organized. Cut to Alex's house, break out the Nintendo and reveal to the world how badly I suck at life, the universe and everything. But also, how much I love electricity.

Carmen buzzes off for a while to reherse his performance of Frogs, during which time I spend breaking Alex's TV/Playstation/DVD player, all for Tad's amusement. He made me do it. Once that was finished time was devoted to sleeping of his ankles as payback.

Alex comes in and fixes things. All is well. We watch anime bondage stuff.

Cue Carmen return. We eat candy, fruit, pasta-y proper food etc. I discover I have lost 7lbs just because yay not eating at Uni!

Go to the Circus. Oddfellows!Eren Scares the hell out of me by 1) being dressed as the Devil, and 2) putting needles through his neck. Eeek. Alex begins to feel like sick. I sit with her a while.

Go see Eren backstage... he's so cute! He shows me the inside of the horns, which are filled with sweat.

Alex: they look like >vaginas<
Eren: *is innocently oblivious*

All are driven home. I recall how little I have slept recently. Walk into my dormitory, see bed and fall down.


current mood: cheerful

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Wednesday, September 7th, 2005
1:41 am - What do people think about at two AM?
Imagine your perfect day. Imagine you can be anywhere and do anything you want to do. Imagine you have all the qualifications, money and contacts you could ever need for this perfect day. Now describe it.Collapse )

current mood: awake

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